he knew well he wanted to live in lushness, he knew well he wanted to live among godliness, he broke his fists on his own face and on his mirror in frustration at the painfulness of his tallness and youngness and greenness, he was not yet ready for wholeness or holiness, he was all youngness and wildness, he was yet to become brokenness, a little later on he would become brokenness, he reached heavenward toward godliness, he reached heavenward toward holiness and wholeness, he wanted later on to live in lushness and peacefulness, but he was still all youngness and passion, he was still all smallness and loveliness, soon, later on in his life, when he got older, he would become bitterness and meanness, religion would become bitterness for him, religion would be a fountain of bitterness for him, but early on he wanted to live in holiness and godliness, he was passionate and young, he had passion and youngness and smallness and powerlessness, but he felt he had powerfulness, he felt his religion would lead him to greatness, he wanted to be glorified in his greatness, but he was all youngness and smallness, soon he would become coldness toward his religion, soon he would become bitterness and anger and loneliness and crudeness and meanness, he would be full up with bitterness about his religion, he would be all coldness toward his God, as an old man he would be full up of bitterness, but as a young man he was full of loveliness and happiness and hopefulness and passion, as a young man he had yet to feel his great loneliness, the great expansiveness of his loneliness, the coldness and bitterness of his loneliness, he had so much hopefulness as a young man with youngness and smallness and powerlessness and helplessness, he had passion, he had happiness, but then came the utter loneliness and the anger and the bitterness, his cup was filled with bitterness, and so he was all coldness toward God, he was all coldness toward everything and everyone, he was an atheist, he was full up of bitterness and loneliness, he was full up of coldness, in his religion he never found greatness, in his religion he never found happiness or peacefulness, he lost his hopefulness, and so this was the bitterness of his oldness, this was the deadliness of loneliness, this was the deadliness of passion and too much hopefulness,