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Two Suicides
a novel

An examination of the agonies of male urban solitude. By the way, one of the suicides is a reptilian monster (the Swamp Thing), but no one really notices that he's not human. The entire text is offered in free html below.

It is suggested that you read these chapters in order.


Suicide One

[I have really got to cut back on the beer]   [I went to the little grocery]   [Once, I went to Paul's Chinese Kitchen]   [I had a fatty cyst removed] [If I could incarnate Time]    [I thought briefly about]   [I went to the porn shop]   [Walking back from the porn shop]   [I'm reading Homer's Odyssey]   [I hope the Post office]   [I really hate the radio commercials]   [When I went to the dermatologist]   [The park two blocks to the south of me]   [When I first moved here]   [I sit through the night sipping beer]   [My father came over tonight]   [My father probably hasn't read a novel since]   [I talked on the phone]   [Brian is always joking]   [In my old apartment]   [I talked to Brian on the phone]   [I lay down for a nap]   [When I woke up this morning]   [I saw my father last night]   [Last night I said to him]   [My brother and I]   [The last time he was here]   [He came down with anxiety attacks]   [I woke up this afternoon]   [I am a tiny eddy of matter]   [The sun rises as I sleep away]   [When I was living]   [I told my idea for my film]   [I think there was an insect love triangle]   [I saw my stepsister]   [Brian is the type of person]   [Brian moved to New York]   [And so he and his wife]   [When I was having that fatty tumor removed]   [I think I've spent too much time in the city]   [The sun went down]   [Sometimes I will test my telepathy]   [I have ceased pouring the libations]   [I was going to go all night]   [Every few months I will have a dream]   [I threw up this morning]   [I'm thinking of when I was in Brooklyn]   [And now the US government]   [I was telling Brian]   [The last time my brother was in town]   [I went back to sleep at 7:30]   [My father was by today]   [I just woke up]   [I woke up a few times]   [My medication has been making me very lethargic]   [I don't know why I keep napping]   [I woke up at 4:00 p.m.]   [I thought I'd get rid of some of the change]   [When I got home]   [I have been living like this for five years]   [I sit in my air-conditioned apartment]   [I think I have an evil genius]   [Oh I am a thoroughly confused thing]   [I do not know what sort of person I was]   [I've been within 40 pages]   [I think my subconscious is running out of absurd little stories]   [When I was a teenager]   [And now I think, Yes]   [I'm watching my cat]   [I've been thinking lately]   [I think I turned into someone]   [Watching TV is a sensation]   [I have a collection of suicides]   [They are the Dreams and the Madness]   [This morning I went outside for the first time]


Suicide Two

[Just when I think I cannot]   [My story is the story of]   [These were the days when men]   [Another day in this city]   [I went to the Arby's on the corner today]   [I like to look out my window]   [Ah, to be back in the world]   [Ah, to be out in that world again]   [Somehow I feel like I'm waiting]   [The dense clouds of cosmic waste]   [I have got a skin condition]   [The thunderstorm rolls in]   [I have but one brainchild]    [I am allowed out of my apartment]   [I see it in the eyes]   [My angels are the suffering angels]   [I hear the floors creak]   [The passions become mixed for us]   [I grip myself from a thousand sides]   [The angels of retribution]   [I sat at my table today]   [The Categorical Bog]   [But I should start at the beginning]   [The insane kid who lives across the hall]   [There are seven hermaphrodites]   [And so I sit and shake]   [I hear the tiny German at the bottom of it]   [Such was the vision that came to me]   [I am made and constructed and woven]   [30 years ago]   [His music is always loud]   [I found a box wrapped in brown paper]   [There was a little tape that played]   [The insane kid across the hall]   [I do not like it when he calls]   [He is always talking about his girlfriend]   [I wake around 3 p.m.]   [We are the small spirits]   [I wander the dingy halls]   [I breathe in the stench]   [And ten thousand came marching]   [I look out across the cityscape]   [The vagina is beautiful because of what it lacks]   [In the end we are routed]   [I know what comes next]   [I have investigated all these things]   [It's interesting how many words]   [Oh in dreamless sleep the self is big]   [The ash came and fell from the skies]   [And the heavens were open that day]   [There was once a land of giants]   [Justice harmonizes elephants with wigwams]   [And so I go through the small bleak world]   [I think I have a new disease]   [We drink ourselves to death]   [Sometimes I'm terrified]   [There were once two soldiers]   [Thus were the heroes of old tales &stories]   [The flesh of my apartment]   [In the beginning was God]   [In the beginning it was said of me]   [I slept past my noon hour]   [The companions of the darkness]   [But the storm rolls in]   [I realized it just this afternoon]   [I drift on past the sun]   [I think I am a compound]   [Now my apartment is infested]   [In any case]   [The exterminator]   [The color of decay is gray]   [I went to the pharmacy today]   [But I digress]


Suicide One

[I got an anonymous card in the mail]



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